What Parenting Style is Most Encouraged in Modern America


In theory, there are only four parenting styles.


Parenting Style



1. Authoritarian parents are commanding and expect obedience without considering the child's viewpoint.



2.    Permissive parents are loving but lack control. There are no rules.


3.  Authoritative parents who are strict but loving. They encourage self-sufficiency within limits.



4.  Neglectful parents are often uninvolved and uninterested in their own children.


5.    A fifth style was recently proposed, but we'll get to that later.



Controlling and demanding to complete freedom; & cold and unresponsive to loving and receptive are the styles.

There is a place for authoritative, permissive, authoritarian, and neglectful parents.

We can imagine the lives of four children to get a sense of what it's like to grow up with parents on opposite ends of the spectrum.




1.    Authoritarian parents:


Authoritarian parents


Linda's parents are authoritarian.


They adore their daughter, but they believe that strict rules are necessary to help Linda become well-behaved and fit into society.


If Linda cries, she’s told to stop. If she talks back, she is escorted to the corner for a timeout.


She is not permitted to play with her toys if she fails to complete her household chores.


Linda discovers that the best way to get through the day is to suppress her feelings and fulfill her responsibilities.


She becomes obedient in order to gain her parents' love and avoid upsetting them.


Linda, on the other hand, has no idea what she really wants as an adult because she was never allowed to make her own decisions or pursue her own intrinsic interests.


She begins living a life that appears as perfect to her parents and society to be perfect, but which may leave her unhappy on the inside.





2.    Permissive parents.


Permissive parents



Permissive parents, like David's, believe they should grant all of their child's wishes, give him complete freedom, and never say "no."


David has complete control over his parents and can get whatever he wants.


He will be carried if he does not want to walk.


He gets ice cream if he wants it.


If he wants to play games, he'll do so all night.


David grows up with no boundaries and does whatever he thinks is right.


He never learned to deal with conflict or control his emotions.


He was a bad loser because he always got what he wanted.


As he gets older, he becomes more careless and unaware of his own limitations.





3.    Authoritative parents


Authoritative parents



William's authoritative parents respect their child's needs, but they believe that children need freedom within certain limits.


William is free to play, but when he is finished, he must assist in tidying up.


He is permitted to eat ice cream on Sundays only.


Screen time is restricted to 30 minutes per day.


There may be disagreements, but the parents listen to William and then set the rules. They do not, however, give in, nor do they use rewards or punishments.


William discovers that some things are difficult, but his parents provide him with all the supports he requires to get through them.


He gains the strength and courage to persevere in the face of adversity and to pursue his interests and passions.


He bravely expresses his own opinions in class in an appropriate manner.


During breaks, he can show his emotions and act freely.


As an adult, he only agrees to rules after they have been discussed and he is confident that he understands them.


The most encouraging style in modern America is the authoritative parenting style.





4.    Neglectful parents


Neglectful parents



Neglectful parents are typically absent from their children's lives.


Emma frequently feels completely isolated in the world. She has complete freedom to do whatever she wants and a lot of imagination.


She, on the other hand, never receives any feedback, affection, love, or even attention.


Emma realizes that it makes no difference what she does because no one cares.


A lack of attention leads to a lack of trust in herself and others.


She develops an insecure attachment, unable to form healthy relationships, and has a negative self-image.


She tries not to feel anything in order to stop feeling unworthy of love.





5.    Snowplows parents or Helicopter parents


Over-involved parents



Over-involved parents who are present in every aspect of their child's life have become known as the 5th style in recent years.


These parents are also known as “snowplows” - as they remove obstacles from their children's paths,



known as “Helicopter parents” - as they hover around and micro-manage every aspect of their child's life.


Because they will not allow their children to do anything on their own. The children cannot learn to overcome obstacles on their own.


According to research, these children dislike solving difficult problems, lack perseverance, and may even procrastinate in protest when something requires a significant amount of effort.


Since this majority of parenting research has relied on self-reports and has been conducted in the United States and Europe.


It's unsure how well the observed effects will hold up in controlled observational experiments or elsewhere.


Diana Baumrind, a psychologist, was the first to introduce the four parenting styles.


She recommended a "balance of demandingness and responsiveness" for good parenting.


Add to that Maria Montessori's wise words, "Never help a child with a task at which he feels he can succeed." and parents should do pretty well.



What are your thoughts?

Should parents adopt a specific parenting style, or should they decide what is best in a given situation? -  provided they do not neglect or abuse their child.


Parenting Style


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